Yes, it’s true. Up to this point in my life I had yet to watch a single episode of Game of Thrones. The look of shock, horror, and at times strong distain, have crossed the faces and been expressed via keyboard more times than I can count. And so, with a newly updated cable television subscription (which is another topic -read: rage rant- for another time), I now have access to HBO and its wide array of soft-core pornogra-, er, original programming. I mean seriously, have you watched Westworld? (Yeah, I binged watched that shit right out of the gate).
Anywho, as I was saying, I started watching Game of Thrones. I just finished the first season about 20 minutes ago and a good friend was actually foolish enough to suggest that I blog about my impressions. So here we are. You can blame him for this.
My friend’s suggestion was that I make notes on each episode. I tried doing that and got as far as about episode six before I realized I was getting sucked into the show and that trying to keep up with watching the show and writing down my thoughts became an exercise in futility. I might try it again in season two, we’ll just see how that goes.
And so, without further adieu, here are some of my impressions on season one of Game of Thrones.
WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR SEASON ONE – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
* Opening map flyby sequence actually made me queasy for a moment. I’m guessing I won’t be riding rollercoasters anytime soon.
* Ooooh, inhuman bad guys. I hope they aren’t zombies, please, please don’t let them be zombies.
* Its obvious I’m going to need to Wikipedia the shit out of this show to keep track of things.
* Boobs. So. Many. Boobs
* Strong, silent warrior turns out to be gentle giant trope? Fuck that.
* So, it’s that kind of family.
* A character death already? I was warned about this but damn, they really didn’t waste any time.
* I’m guessing seasons aren’t a thing there because winter is coming and people seem to be really concerned about it. Maybe they didn’t jar enough veggies to last.
* I’m getting the sense that feminism hasn’t reached the Seven Kingdoms just yet.
* Justified slapping is justified, and satisfying.
* Oh, I bet you mourned the loss of your first kid. My money is that the King wasn’t the little dude’s dad so he had to go.
* Is it me or is the guy with white hair pompous and unbearable?
* Ok, so now war is coming.
* Damn dire wolf, you crazy!
* Love lessons? (cue Matthew McConaughey)Allllll right!
* I gots me a hunch one of dem dere dragon eggs gonna be hatchin’ at some point.
* George R.R. Martin – No sex fixation here, no sir, nope.
* I do like them wolves.
* I do not like them Lannisters. Shifty folk they be.
* Well, that escalated quickly.
* That whiny little Lannister kid is a prick
* That older Lannister kid is a prick
* That Lannister sister is a prick(ess?)
* Oh snap, a little discord in the conference room.
* Ok, ok, winter is bad. This seems to have been well established at this point.
* White walkers sound like bad news.
* There is some scheming afoot
* The King don’t seem to like pretty boy all that much.
* I guess I should start learning names.
* Is there anyone in this thing that isn’t being betrayed by someone?
* Did you know that winter is coming?
* Tough love at the wall it seems.
* Bath sex.
* Immigration issues at King’s Landing
* Silly girl, you can’t be a lord. Have some kids, won’t you?
* Spies, spies, everywhere
* Little King White Hair hath become unhinged and his sister seems to have come into her own.
* Next time, on “When jousts go wrong”
* Didn’t see that coming. No one puts Imp in a corner
* Ah, so the boy in the shiny armor doesn’t like girls?
* Fuck, he just decapitated his horse! A little extreme
* Ah, finally, more sex
* Shouldn’t that kid be on solid food by now?
* A room with a view. Pretty suite
* In the leg? This show is full of surprises
* I knew it! That egg is gonna hatch at some point.
* Fresh heart. Yummy(?)
* Such a vulgar little imp.
* OH!!! I should have seen that coming but I didn’t.
* Boom. One bespoke crown coming up.
(This is where I gave up trying to keep up with my notes so the following are thoughts in no particular order)
* A life for a death ain’t no life at all. And now you’re down a horse.
* Daddy is finally starting to appreciate me.
* Damn! They took his head? They actually killed him off in the first season? I liked that dude.
* The boy king is a vindictive, petulant little twat? This comes as a surprise to nobody, except perhaps the person who raised him. Love is blind apparently. And incestuous, ay-oh!
* Hey, her hands didn’t get burned, and she supposedly has dragon blood in her? Now where could this be going?
* Yup, went exactly where I thought it would.
* That dude with the bridge seems like he could be overrun pretty easily, how the hell is he still in business?
* And do you really need to lick your lips when you’re gawking at your 15-year old bride? Dodgy, creepy ol’ coot.
* This show is remarkably well done.
* Boobs. Have I mentioned the boobs yet?
* There be dragons. Cute, adorable little dragons.
* A very tasteful placement of that second dragon there. I mean, you’re going for modesty now?
* Winter. Is. Coming.
And that, my friends, wraps it up for season one. I’ll be starting season two very shortly and now that I think I have a handle on what’s going on, I should be able to keep up with my notes. Hopefully. Maybe.